Many years ago when my mother attended a Christian women’s conference, she heard a prophetic word that healed her broken heart. She was deeply worried about me because my life was a major mess. I had made so many wrong choices and walked down so many unhealthy and destructive paths. At the time I was in a mentally ill marriage desperately trying to raise four young stepchildren who didn’t want me in their lives. I was broken, isolated, confused, emotionally paralyzed and didn’t know how to find my way—as a woman, a wife or a stepmother. The speaker at that conference said, “There is someone here very worried about their adult daughter.” The word was an arrow to mom’s heart. She continued, “The Lord wants you to know that your daughter is on a very winding path, but that path is pure gold.” At that instant, peace filled mom’s heart. She knew the Lord’s hand was upon me and that I would eventually be all right.
Reflections from Shelly Currin on my winding path:
From the innocence of childhood it was a winding path, that led you through the heart of Jesus and into being the mighty woman of God that you are today. We all have circumstances that take us off God’s path for our lives, some by our own choice and some by circumstances out of our control (other’s choices that damage us, health issues, etc). Some people’s paths are more ‘winding’ than others. Because you are vulnerable and share your winding path experience infused with the healing grace of God, people feel safe to open their hearts to you. The tenderizing love of Jesus doesn’t remove all the curves that life throws at us, but it gives us new hope, strength, and purpose. God’s love is real in you Linda, and that brings hope to others and a safety in sharing the secrets that they carry that need His healing touch. This image portrays that to me. It gives hope of what God makes of our lives as we pass through his heart on our own winding roads.
As a child of no faith I spent my early years on an isolated mountain ranch on the Northern California coast, attending a country school with 14 children, all grades in one room. With little socialization, I grew up introverted, insecure, with a stubborn independence I often attributed to my Dutch heritage. At age nineteen I married, then divorced, then remarried, then divorced. I had no sense of how to build a productive life. When in my mid twenties I married Ronald Schubert, I also inherited four young stepchildren, never having a child of my own. Then Ronald wanted us all to become Catholic. Clearly, many things had to be worked out, but they were. Joining the church was a major turning point for me. Learning about Jesus, the tenets of the Catholic faith, the work of the Holy Spirit, the love of the Father, was life for me. “…I have set before you life and death…now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years…” (Dt 30:19-20). I was on a healthy path, attending daily Mass, developing friendships.
In the midst of chaotic family life and Ron’s rapidly manifesting mental illness, deep inside was a secret dream. I yearned to create something that would be meaningful and self supporting. One early morning walking to Mass I heard the voice of Father God: “I will give this to you if you will use the freedom it gives you to honor me.” I tucked that deep in my heart and continued on through the tragic death of a stepson, with a brutal cancer invading his body. Two weeks after he died I prayed with a television evangelist and was baptized in the Holy Spirit and praying in tongues, the wonderful language of the Spirit.
When we are baptized in the Holy Spirit, God begins a wonderful work of restoration in our lives. He connected me with a charismatic prayer community and prayerful women and men who knew the power of God. I was making progress on that path of pure gold. The Holy Spirit was cleansing, repairing, rebuilding, renewing, restoring my life. In my earlier years I seemed frozen, unable to feel, always hiding. I was coming to life.
When Ronald Schubert died some years ago, he left a message for me. “I can’t handle it any more,” he said. “I am overdosing on my psych medicine. Please forgive me.” It was the first time in memory that he had ever asked forgiveness. I was by then traveling and becoming well known in the renewal, and I wanted to hide, not telling anyone how Ron died. Then a priest friend looked me squarely in the eye and said, “Linda, you are known for your honesty. You can’t know how many people in my parish deal with suicide. So you pick yourself up and keep moving on.” It was the voice of God for me. I continued writing, traveling, speaking to groups from 10 to 10,000. It was a season of grace where I learned the power of dependency on Jesus. It was infused with marvels and wonders.
In 2010 I was diagnosed with my second bout of cancer. First was breast cancer in 1984, and currently a rare cancer called mantle cell lymphoma. Today I am at home taking care of health issues and connecting to the world mainly through my website. As life quiets down, I have gathered many of my teachings and made them available as mp3’s on this new website. Many of my experiences not recorded here are shared in those teachings.
Jesus tells us, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (Jn 8:32). Our truth is Jesus, who loves us, forgives us, and sends his Holy Spirit to bring us on that restoration path—the path of pure gold that leads us to our Heavenly Father. Tell him now, wherever you are, “Lord, I choose your path of pure gold. I surrender my life to you. I accept you as my Savior and Lord. I ask forgiveness for my whole life. Fill me with your Holy Spirit.” Tell him in your own words. Cry out to him. Confess your own winding road. Open to his love that restores and heals. Then listen to what he says to you: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart…I will bring you back from captivity…” (Jer 29:11-14).